Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Guide To:
Divorce Mistakes
Financially Smart Divorce
For more than 25 years you have witnessed Gail Vaz-Oxlade's trademark straight-up money wisdom, both on Radio and Television, most notably as host of TVs Till Debt Do Us Part, Princess and Money Moron. Gail is a best-selling Canadian financial author.
Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Guide To
Divorce Mistakes
Financially Smart Divorce
Avoid These Costly Money Pits
People make all sorts of costly divorce mistakes throughout their divorce process. Many of these divorce mistakes result from a lack of good old-fashioned common sense fueled by a lot of unrestrained emotions. Here are a few divorce mistakes that will come back to bite you.
Divorce Mistake: Putting Your Lawyer on Speed Dial
Every time you contact your lawyer it costs you money, even in Ontario. Depending on the law firm, even a quick 2 minute phone call or seemingly insignificant email to your lawyer will be rounded up to the nearest 1/10, 1/5 or 1/4 of an hour. So don’t make one of the big divorce mistakes and make a point of contacting your lawyer only as necessary. In order to make your calls or emails as structured and to-the-point as possible, keep a list of your questions and ask them all at once. Your lawyer is neither your counsellor nor your therapist so make sure the communications you exchange remain relevant to the legal proceedings of your separation and nothing more.
Divorce Mistake: Avoiding Communications from your Divorce Professionals
Yes – divorce is an emotionally difficult time and sometimes it’s easier to just pretend the process isn’t happening. However once your divorce process is underway, don’t avoid responding to phone calls or emails from your divorce team. Don’t make it difficult for your Team to help you by making them have to hound you.
How to Avoid A Messy Divorce
Seriously consider mediation before lawyer litigation
If at all possible, stay out of the Family Courts
Gather and organize your financial documents
Do your homework, understand how divorce works in Ontario
Divorce Mistake: Hiding Assets From Your Ex
You might think you’re being clever by hiding assets (hidden bank accounts, investments, real estate) from your spouse, but this tactic is downright DUMB. This is one of the biggest divorce mistakes you can possibly make! Not only is it illegal on a SWORN financial statement, but if and WHEN you get caught you will lose all credibility and negotiation power. Just…don’t.
Divorce Mistake: Creeping Your Ex on Social Media
Chances are, your Ex is trying to move on with his or her life after your separation. In an age of social media it’s easy to keep tabs on your Ex, but that doesn’t mean you should! Creeping your Ex post-split is one of the divorce mistakes that can truly cause you to lose your sanity…
Listen, you’re not helping yourself move forward with your life by creeping your Ex on social media. In fact, you’re fueling your own anger, resentment and bitterness by getting sucked into the online drama. If you’re finding yourself tempted to stalk your Ex on social media, consider taking a break from your online circles completely.
The Unofficial Rules of Divorce:
Divorce gets prickly, even in the most amicable situation
It’s often less about the legalities and more about the money
People make expensive mistakes because they don’t make a plan
Before you do anything, understand your rights, obligations & complexities
Divorce Mistakes: Parading Your New Sweetie Around in Front of Your Ex
If you have a new (or perhaps already-existing) love in your life, understand that their mere presence is going to make your Ex’s blood boil. You want to get through to the end of this process with your finances intact so you’re going to have to do whatever it takes to help keep emotions at bay on both sides of the negotiating table. If your new love really does love you, they’ll wait quietly in the wings until your divorce is finalized.
Divorce Mistakes: Using the Divorce to Punish Your Ex
Divorce is a legal proceeding to end a Marriage. It is not a Jerry Springer chair-fight. For the sake of your assets and your kids, treat your divorce like the business transaction that it is. Anything else is just another of the divorce mistakes that crop up in every process. And speaking of your children…
Divorce Mistakes: Using Child Custody as a Weapon
Using Child Custody as a weapon to bend your Ex to your will is a just terrible, and one of the worst divorce mistakes that The Common Sense Divorce sees. It’s a selfish tactic that will only end up hurting your children. All said, children need both parents in their lives.